Joke 1: Man and wife in their early sixties are celebrating their 40th anniversary. They are having dinner in a very romantic restaurant. A beautiful little Fairy comes to their table and says she will grant each of them a wish. Wife says “I would like a round the world cruise with my darling husband.” Poof. Two tickets to QE II appear in her hand.

Now husband. “I would like a wife who is thirty years younger than me”. Poof. The fairy waved her magic wand and suddenly he was a 92 year old man.

So be careful what you wish for.

Joke 2: There is an elderly couple. They go to the doctor for their annual checkups. It is a small town, so they both go to the same doctor. First the husband goes in. Everything is OK and the doctor says, “Do you have any questions for me?”

Husband says, ” When I have sex the first time I am so cold I am shivering, but the second time I am all hot and sweaty.”Why do you suppose that is?”

The doctor is puzzled but says he’ll look into it. Then it is time for the wife to come in.

She gets a clean bill of health and then the doctor says, “Your husband had a question for me and I am stumped, maybe you can help solve this. He said the first time he has sex he is freezing and the second time he is roasting. Do you have any idea why this would be?”

‘Oh, that old goat. The first time is in January and the second time is in August’.