I was really looking forward to the Oscars. I always enjoy the Red Carpet and seeing all the beautiful gowns and jewelry that the stars are wearing.

There were some pretty outfits, but the announcer/interviewer was so bad, that for me it spoiled the show. She had a very shrill grating voice and she said the same thing to everyone. No humor or charm.

I miss Joan Rivers and her daughter Melissa. For me they were fun to watch and their interviews were always ‘spot on’.

Many of the dresses were so form fitting or so huge with tremendous skirts, hundreds of ruffles and long trains, that I couldn’t help but wonder how these women could walk in their super high heels. 500 feet is almost two football fields. You do the math.

Then I started to think. How did they ‘go to the bathroom’? This had to be a big problem. First of all they had to get dressed by four in the afternoon to get to the Oscars by six. Once they had their hair and makeup done and actually put on their spanx and high heels, then someone had to put their dresses on and zip them up.

Ann Hathaway’s dress was beautiful, but with crisscrossed straps in the back and a back zipper from the waist, it probably took at least two people to dress her.

Jennifer Lawrence had such a huge skirt on her gown that she actually fell up the stairs on her way to receiving her Oscar for Best Actress. She was also #1 Best Dressed.

Once they were in these gowns, if they had to pee between four and eleven p.m. how did they manage this. I doubt I could go (or not go) for seven or eight hours.

Plus once they were seated, along with about ten thousand others, I think it would be next to impossible to leave their seats.

There were girls as young as nine and women as old as 85, plus some that were pregnant. Seven hours is a long time.

If the theater is like any I have been to, there is usually a very long line at the ladies room. And no way would some of those dresses even fit into a normal size stall.

Would someone in the know, please let me know how this problem was dealt with?

I recall a similar situation in my life. It was winter and I was driving from Los Angeles to Las Vegas. This is 280 miles and I decided to wear my warmest clothing. This was a one piece black cashmere jumpsuit. Turtle neck, long sleeves with a zipper from neck to crotch.

As it was quite form fitting, I wore control top panty hose underneath, and for warmth, wool socks and boots. And topped with a leather car coat. What was I thinking?

In order to make a ‘pit stop’ required getting almost totally undressed. And 280 miles is pretty far to go without stopping a couple of times.

And unlike the ladies on the Red Carpet, I didn’t have a ‘dresser’. (Also lucky I did this when I was 25 years younger).

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