The most recent episode of Mad Men prompted a discussion of men/women relationships. In last Sunday’s Mad Men, Don Draper and his wife get into an argument. They are standing outside of a Howard Johnson’s restaurant in the middle of nowhere.

What initiated the fight was Don’s attitude of always being right and shoving his opinions down his wife’s throat. For example, he insisted she eat orange sherbert, when she didn’t like it and wanted to order chocolate ice cream (or pie).

But that wasn’t all. No, he dragged her away from her job, when she was in the middle of an important task. He always overruled her wishes and plans, if they didn’t coincide with his.

Anyway, the fight continued to the parking lot and Don drove off with his wife screaming at him from the curb. When he returned a while later, she was nowhere to be found.

Finally after seven hours, he drove home. There she was and in a total fury after a six and a half hour bus ride home. And no taxi available from the bus station.

After watching this on TV, Peter and I had a discussion about what we would have done. I said I would file for divorce if we were married and never see or speak to him again if we were not.

He thought that was a little harsh and I said I thought Don Draper was a Pig.

Then in this mornings paper was an article about a real life cad, John Edwards. He is on trial for violating campaign fund policy and conspiracy. He could go to jail for 30 years and have a $1.5 Million fine to boot.

In speaking of his mistress who claimed at the time to be expecting his child, his security detail said that Edwards told him she was a ‘crazy slut and that there was only a one in three chance that the baby is mine’.

Of course this all happened while his wife was dying of cancer, and he has since decided to marry this ‘crazy slut’.

Peter asked what I would do if he stated that about me. I said that would warrant life without parole.

Then later, as he was slipping into his Bruno Magli shoes, I mentioned that they were the same type that O.J. had worn when he killed his wife. Peter asked what I thought the penalty for that should be.

I immediately said, “Life without parole”.

“What? That was the same penalty for just calling you a ‘crazy slut’ in front of millions of readers”. I thought about this for a moment and then realized that cutting of my head is more serious than being called names or being called a liar.

So I changed the former penalty to life with the possibility of parole. Never let it be said that I am not fair.

There are lots of silly ‘What ifs’, if you want to play this game. But today in the paper was the most ridiculous of all. There is a local man standing trial for murder. He is accused of stomping on the victims head and face ten times.

His defense: “I wasn’t there at the time of the beating. I don’t know where I was, but I know I wasn’t there.”

I wonder if the jury will ‘buy’ that alibi. Even I can’t think of a clever retort for that statement. Wonder what his lawyer was thinking?

But if you ever do something wrong, just say, “I wasn’t there. I don’t know where I was, but I know I wasn’t there.”

Who knows? It could work. Just the other day a 43 year old man who was accused or raping a girl under fourteen and beating up her brother when he tried to interfere, got five years probation and no jail time.

(He does have to register as a sex offender and if he does anything wrong in the next five years, he can get forty years in jail.)

This plea deal was supposed to spare the victim having to testify in court. Nice call, District Attorney.

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