A girlfriend sent me this today and I cracked up laughing. Due to what happened at my house, this really hit home.

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The other day just as I was cooking dinner, my sink stopped up. When the plumber came he said that we not only had a plugged up sink, but we needed a new garbage disposal.This involved driving to Sears in the five o’ clock traffic and leaving the plumber alone in my house.

When I got home, he spent another hour installing the new disposal. Finally he was done and dinner was only one and a half hours late.

Everything was overdone and by the time I got out of the kitchen it was nearly nine pm. I had invited my boyfriend to dinner and made all his favorite things. During and after dinner I was very crabby.

He really tried to help by putting away all the stuff that had been under my sink, helping me serve dinner and then helping me clean up. Even so,I think I used all nine of these words in the course of the evening.

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NINE WORDS WOMEN USE

(1) Fine  This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

(2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

(3) Nothing  This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine..

(4) Go Ahead This is a dare, not permission. Don’t Do It!

(5) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing.. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)

(6) That’s Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That’s okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

(7) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you’re welcome. (I want to add in a clause here – This is true, unless she says ‘Thanks a lot’ – that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say ‘you’re welcome’ . that will bring on a ‘whatever’).

(8) Whatever: Is a woman’s way of saying F– YOU!

(9) Don’t worry about it, I’ll do it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing herself. This will later result in a man asking ‘What’s wrong?’ For the woman’s response refer to # 3.

* Send this to the men you know, to warn them about arguments they can avoid if they remember the terminology.

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