Swearing Helps Pain/Raising Children Today

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I can tell how many ‘hit’s I get on each article I post. The one yesterday only got one third as many readers as the one about Burn Remedies and less than one quarter as many as read the one about the German ‘porno’ flick (with full frontal nudity of the 76 year old lover) in case you missed it.

So today I am going to post this blog early so you will all have a chance to read it before you go to sleep.

I read an interesting article in the newspaper this morning. It seems that cursing or swearing when you are hurt really helps to alleviate the pain. This works very well if you hit your finger with a hammer or if you burn yourself.

I am so glad to know this, as I have always ‘sworn like a sailor’ when I hit my finger while hammering. And a burn gets the same treatment.

Gee, I thought cold water and then neosporin did the trick. But no, there was an experiment done at a British university. The test was to see how long one could withstand the pain of having your hand immersed in icy water. This experiment is used as it does not cause any lasting scars or psycological problems.

People were given two choices. One was to say a word with no swearing such as door or chimney and the other choice was to really let loose with a nasty swear word. The saying of the real swear word made a great impact on lessening the pain, while the plain old word did nothing.

I think I knew this, just from experience. In the 50’s we said things like ‘Drat’ and ‘Dog gone it’. I don’t know if these had quite the same effect as the words we use so freely now.

I know I was amazed recently when people on TV say things like, ‘I was really pissed off’. And when Melissa Leo accepted her Oscar for best supporting actress, she actually used the ‘F’ word in front of millions of viewers. Magazines called it ‘dropping the F bomb’.

I remember when my children were growing up, if anyone in our family swore, they had to put a dime in a jar. We kept this jar on the kitchen counter. I don’t recall what we did with the money, but I doubt if we had over $2 in the jar at any one time.

I wonder if now it is OK for kids to swear if they are doing it to alleviate pain from a bump or bruise. And who tells them that this is OK?

When I was a little girl and would say something ‘bad’ or sass my mother, I would get my mouth washed out with soap. I haven’t heard of this practice lately. It probably is considered child abuse and is grounds for arrest.

The way children are punished nowadays is with a Time Out. I’m not sure exactly what this is or what it accomplishes, but it sounds nice. Sort of like sports.

Maybe it is like the punishment we used to have in the forties. Sitting in the corner. There was a chair facing the corner where two walls met, and sitting in this chair was very shameful. But not as bad as, No Dessert.

In today’s paper in the ‘Dear Abby for advice about children’ was something funny. A father wrote in and said he and his wife were having a disagreement on how to ask your children to pick up their toys. He felt that the correct way is to say, “Please, pick up your toys” and his wife said that saying ‘Please’ is ridiculous.

He thought by saying ‘Please’, this would teach the children manners. The answer was, “It is not a request, and so ‘please’ may just confuse the child”. However if you want to say ‘Please’, it is OK.

The advisor gave some alternate choices. “I need you to pick up your toys” and “It’s time to pick up your toys”. Whatever you do, have some colorful plastic bins to put the various toys in by type. Much easier and more fun than one big jumble in a ‘toy box’.

When I was three I had a teddy bear that ‘ate’ graham crackers. His mouth opened and he was lined in tin. At his bottom was a little drawer and you could take the crackers out and do it again. One day I decided that he should have some milk with his crackers, and so I poured a glass of milk down his throat.

When I put him in my toy box I totally ‘forgot’ about his meal. The next day, the smell of sour milk brought my mother running into my room to search for what was causing this. We wound up having to throw away my teddy bear. Boo f——-Hoo.

I was trying to think back to what I said about picking up toys. After all, I had three children under four and I’m sure this was an issue. I think what I said was, “Let’s pick up your toys now.”

Sort of like when you go to the doctor and he says, “And how are WE today?” And I would start picking up a few toys, and after one or two, excuse myself to go ‘fix lunch’ or a ‘snack’. Of course toys in the 60’s were a lot simpler to pick up. Just dolls and little dishes for the girls and trucks, guns and soldiers for the boys

Now there is Lego in all sizes and colors for ages two and up. And with jillions of pieces, you really need many bins and containers just for this one toy alone. Also, Lego is not just for boys anymore. No, now the tiles come in pink and orange as well as red, white and blue.

And if you go to the Lego store, there are tubs filled with every color of the rainbow, in case you are making something that requires just one or two lavender or gold lego pieces. (And the Lego sets cost between $50 and $200 these days).

Also another punishment was ‘Go to Your Room’. Now the kids would be thrilled with that one. Most children have a TV and a computer in their bedroom. So great.

And if they don’t have a TV or a computer, maybe they’ll just have to tough it out and play with their Nintendo or send text messages with their cell phone.

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‘I Love You, Phillip Morris’-a Movie Review (and a few Recommendations)

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Steven and Phillip in their prison outfits

I seldom watch only half a movie. This was one half too many. Usually when I order a movie from Netflix, I read the synopsis and sort of know what to expect.

Somehow I forgot this part. I assumed that because of the title it had to do with the tobacco industry and because it was starring Jim Carey, that is was a comedy. Boy, was I wrong.

I guess it was supposed to be a comedy, but it wasn’t the least bit funny. And it definitely had nothing to do with the tobacco industry. What I can’t figure out, is who would put up the money to make this flick?

The story/plot? is about a man named Steven who is gay. But he is in the closet and even his fellow police officers and his sweet Bible thumping wife do not know.

One day he decides to ‘come out’ and leaves his wife and the police force. He moves to Florida where he meets his handsome boyfriend. To keep his newfound love happy, he buys him expensive presents that he can ill afford. His life of crime and stolen credit cards lands him in prison.

It is here that he meets his ‘true love’, Phillip Morris. The movie becomes even more absurd when Steven gets himself transferred to Phillip’s cell and I stopped watching it as they were cuddling on the lower bunk

I have nothing against gay themed movies. In fact two of the best movies I ever saw were ‘The Crying Game’ and ‘Boy’s Don’t Cry’. The ‘Crying Game’ is the story of a man who lives as a woman. He/she is a hairdresser in London and a very nice guy falls in love with ‘her’.

‘The Crying Game’ with Forrest Whitaker

He doesn’t have a clue that this person is really a man until after about a month, when they finally ‘go to bed’.  I won’t tell you the rest as that would spoil it for you. But it is a terrific movie and the soundtrack is good too.

‘Boy’s Don’t Cry’ is about a girl who sets herself up as a boy. Her looks, hair, clothing and actions are perfect as a good looking young man. She/he gets a sweet young thing to fall in love with ‘her’, thinking she is a guy. Hillary Swank was terrific in this role and I think she even got an Oscar for her portrayal. This is a true story of a transgendered person in a small midWestern town.

Neither of these are about ‘gay’ people in the traditional sense. Both have to do with people who are only attracted to the same sex partner if that person thinks he or she is the opposite sex. (Did you ever see ‘Victor Victoria’ with Julie Andrews?) In this movie she plays a woman playing a man who plays a woman.

‘Victor Victoria’

Another good movie, sort of along these same lines is ‘Transamerica’. Bill Macy directed his real life wife (Felicity Huff) in this movie and it is excellent. She plays the role of a woman who is really a man and who is on the verge of going ‘all the way’ and having the operation to make the transformation complete. So this movie is more about being transgendered, than actually being ‘gay’.

One of the first movies about a man playing a woman was ‘Tootsie’. This had nothing to do with being gay, but in this flick Dustin Hoffman can’t get work as a male actor, as he is too short, so he transforms himself into a woman. This was great fun to watch.

There are two very good TV series with main characters who happen to be gay. My favorite was ‘Six Feet Under’. This is the story of two brothers who run the family funeral home. One is straight and the other is gay. Even tho’ he is 100% WASP (White Anglo Saxon Protestant), the love of his life is Afro American (black).

Michael C. Hall plays this role prior to his playing Dexter, the serial killer. It shows just how versatile he is as an actor. I was so sorry when this series ended.

Another series by the same writer is ‘Brothers and Sisters’. The writer is award winning Alan Ball, who also wrote ‘American Beauty’. I loved this series. It stars Sally Field as the mother and Calista Flockhart as one of the daughters. The oldest brother is a lawyer and he is gay. He is very much ‘out of the closet’. And the whole family accepts his life style quite naturally.

Times sure have changed on TV and in the movies. I can remember when even married couples were portrayed as having twin beds with a night table in between. And the woman always wore a dress, high heels and pearls, not only to greet her husband when he came home from work, but she also wore this getup to cook and serve the dinner.

My New Red iPhone 4G

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Isn’t this gorgeous?

I am so excited. I think I am more excited than when I got my iPhone to begin with. I never wanted a black one. I wanted a white one, and after waiting and waiting for it to come out, Apple announced ‘No White Phones’.

So today when I was in Don Quiote market checking out, a display at TMobile caught my eye. Change the color of your iPhone 4G.

I went into the shop and there was the most gorgeous RED phone. I said, “How do you do that?” TJ, the manager showed me exactly how it is done.

This is NOT a do it yourself project. He does this by taking your entire phone apart in about ten pieces, plus about forty mini screws. Then he reassembles it in a genuine Apple case. Except this case is Bright Red.

It takes an hour and I was so fascinated, I sat and watched him do the whole process. I am totally thrilled with the result. Not only is it practically a one of a kind, but now I can spot my phone when I lay it down.

I am constantly losing my phone on my desk, on the bed and in my purse. Now I never will. This alone is worth the price of admission.

And no, it wasn’t cheap. This is an expensive project, but not quite as much as a whole new iPhone. If anyone reading this would like to do this, just go to TMobile in Don Quiote Market on Kaheka Street in Honolulu Hawaii. Ask for TJ and tell him Sandy Conrad sent you.

Just say I was the lady who had the Red iPhone rebuilt. And the amazing thing is, it still works.

Maybe even better than before. Because I had him put a mat finish scratch protector on the entire front. Now there are never any fingerprints or little greasy marks on the screen. And if I put it up to my ear, and there is any makeup on my face, it doesn’t come off on my phone.

I had a scratch protector put on the back also, but this one is shiny. He said he has done about twenty phones so far. Mostly pink, blue and white. He has a clear one himself, and you can actually ‘see’ the guts of the phone through the case.

The red is very unusual. He said he has only done one of these. A guy from Japan had his phone done here in Hawaii, as this is not available yet in Japan.

I have tried all sort of peel and stick decorations for my phone, and several different cases, but nothing compares to this. It is just so clean and smart looking.

So, if you want to ‘knock their socks off’ I heartily recommend doing this. After all, you only live once, and it’s only money.

Secrets of a Packing Queen

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Such a cute book

Jeri Lynch has written a very cute book. I got it in the mail today, autographed and all. It looks like a little suitcase. I ordered it from Amazon but you can also get it from The Packing Queen.

I couldn’t wait to sit down and read it cover to cover. I must say it isn’t a very long book, so I was able to do that this afternoon. She has lots of good ideas. I will have to see if I can work this into my next trip.

Luckily I am not planning on going anywhere till the week before Halloween. I am going to Las Vegas and staying in a hotel. Then on to San Francisco, where I will be staying with my daughter, her husband and my grandchildren.

I figure if I start practicing now, I should be able to have this down pat in six months. I wonder why they didn’t teach packing in college. All the time I spent learning shorthand, could have been better spent learning how to pack.

Of course shorthand was important for girls to know in the 50’s. Typing and shorthand were both essential to be a secretary. (Secretaries, teachers and nurses were just about the only jobs for women). The only thing I remember about shorthand is how to write ‘Dear Sir’.

If I can pack like Jeri Lynch does and only take a carryon, a tote and my purse, that will be a miracle. I usually take a carryon and two large suitcases, a bulging tote and a purse.

She also cautioned that it is a good idea if your purse fits into your tote, as some airlines are very strict about the two item rule. The main problem for me is that I travel with a special pillow for my back and a curved Back Joy to sit on.

How to fit all this and my purse into a tote bag will be a real puzzle. Not to mention my book and possibly my knitting. (Plus gifts for the grandchildren).

Her ‘secret’ is packing cubes, which amazingly are sold in Honolulu at Bag and Baggage. You put the various components of your wardrobe into each of three cubes, then tuck in two pairs of shoes and your makeup and Voila.

We shall see. I think if I pack all black, with maybe two or three scarves for color that might work. Also, I have a travel vest. I bought this online and my boyfriend thinks I look like a terrorist wearing it,

It is black nylon with about twenty mesh lined pockets and a zipper up the front. Loaded, it is pretty heavy. But it is great as there is a separate pocket for cellphone, wallet, keys, pen, medications, earphones and even a map, which goes across your back.

I don’t carry explosives, but it sort of gives that effect. I never wear it as I am checking in, but it is nice to wear on the plane, as you can reach all your essentials without having to bend over and try to dig things out of your bag, which is under the seat in front of you.

I just whip it off and put it on the conveyer belt as I am checking through. Also I have learned to wear slip on shoes so I can just step out of these easily. And of course socks, ’cause who wants to stand barefoot on top of all those germs.

Speaking of germs, Jeri has a great idea for that problem. Just before boarding the plane, put some triple antibiotic ointment on a q tip and put that in your nose, so you don’t breathe in all those awful germs in the airplane air.

My concern has always been the super dry air on an airplane and so I always put tons of moisturizer on my face and lots of hand cream on my hands all during the flight.

Anyway, tomorrow I am going to look through my closet and drawers and see if I can figure out how to condense my vacation wardrobe to a dozen pieces, including accessories and shoes. Of course my traveling outfit can have lots of layers including a fur coat.

 The only problem I can see, is that in October it is usually around 80 degrees in Honolulu. Lets just pray for a nice cool day in Hawaii on October 24. Think snow.

And You Thought They Had Thought of Everything

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         Seal Plastic Bags with Old Bottle Caps

Look how simple this is…..WHAT A GREAT IDEA. 

NO MORE TWIST TIES OR RUBBER BANDS.

This method is WATER PROOF AND

AIR TIGHT.  GREAT! 

The guy who first thought of the idea should

be given an award for originality!!!


HERE IS HOW YOU DO IT.

Cut up a disposable water bottle and

keep the neck and top, as in photo.

Insert the plastic bag through the neck

and screw the top to seal.

The bag is made to be air-tight,

such that water will not leak, the

secret lies with the top and screw cap! 

 This is a great idea to share.

Good for us and the environment too.

Teacher Appreciation Gift Idea and How to Make a Money Tablet

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Buy one ream of paper at an office supply store. $3.

Cut and ‘padded’ (it’s the fancy word for gluing the edges of paper) at the office supply store = $8

9 gifts for $11! That’s a deal!!

I wanted the ream cut into 9 squares as shown in the drawing above.

Yes, they are perfect squares…just use a little imagination. The office supply store cut them perfectly. I just wanted to show you how I had them cut the ream of paper and I don’t have any skills in photoshop.

Have your kids draw on the sides of the pad to create a one of a kind teacher appreciation gift that a teacher could use! Scraps of paper for notes! We also tied new markers…well kind of new. I needed them to draw on the sides, but they’ll never know! We put the teacher’s name, You Rock, and #1 Teacher on the sides of the pad.

This would be great for Grandma and Grandpa for an Easter gift. This would be awesome for a Father’s day gift too! Wa….hoo….teacher appreciation gift and father’s day gift in one shot! YES!

If you are wondering why I didn’t ‘pad’ or glue the paper myself, I didn’t want too. I priced the ‘padding’ and it was over $14 for one small jar. I figured I could pay someone $11 and not only get the same thing at a better price, but I didn’t have to deal with the mess. Another good reason, I can’t figure out how to cut 500 sheets of paper straight with a pair of scissors:)

HOW TO MAKE A MONEY TABLET

On a similar note, here is something that I have been making for over thirty years. Go to the bank and get a brand new stack of $1 bills. These come in packs of 100.  Separate them into two, three, four or five stacks. Using rubber cement, paint one long side of each stack and hold tight with clothes pins.

When this dries you will have stacks of $1 bills in tablet form. Everyone loves these, young and old alike. It is a unique gift and lots more fun than a $20 bill. People are so impressed as you peel off a few ones in the drugstore, at Baskin Robbins, or some at the popcorn stand when you go to the movies.

These make great Bon Voyage presents as they are so handy for tips. Just slip a stack in a Money Card and you are all set. And be sure and keep a stack for yourself.

I make myself a tablet whenever I am going on a trip. I find that a fifty dollar stack is just about right for a one week trip. These are great for peeling off tips at the airport or at a hotel for the bellman. And valet parking tips take on a new flair when you whip out your money tablet.

And if there is some left over when you get home, great. They don’t expire.

For more ideas on teacher appreciation gifts click here!

Burn Remedy and How to Ripen Avacados

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Make your own judgment.   Snopes says this is undetermined, research in progress. This was sent to me by a friend and although I have yet to try it, I certainly will. In fact, I even have a brand new bag of flour, as the last time I needed flour it was buy one, get one free.My experience with burns is this: In the past I have always used aloe, or cold water, but here is something worth trying.(See below)

Another burn experience was while making fried chicken,hot oil splashed onto my breast/chest. I couldn’t get rid of the ugly red scar, so I had a rose tattooed over the scar and it looks beautiful.The part below about the corn/boiling water and flour is ‘hearsay’ and not proven by me yet. But it is certainly worth a try.

‘Once I was cooking some corn and stuck my fork in the boiling water to see if the corn was ready.  I missed and my hand went into the boiling water….

A friend of mine, who was a Vietnam vet, came into the house, just as I was screaming, and asked me if I had some plain old flour…I pulled out a bag and he stuck my hand in it. He said to keep my hand in the flour for 10 minutes which I did. He said that in Vietnam, this guy was on fire and in their panic, they threw a bag of flour all over him to put the fire out…well, it not only put the fire out, but he never even had a blister!!!!

SOOOO, long story short, I put my hand in the bag of flour for 10 minutes, pulled it out and had not even a red mark or a blister and absolutley NO PAIN.  Now, I keep a bag of flour in the fridge and every time I burn myself, I use the flour and never ONCE have I ever had a red spot, a burn or a blister!
*cold flour feels even better than room temperature flour.

Miracle, if you ask me.  Keep a bag of white flour in your fridge and you will be happy you did.  I even burnt my tongue and put the flour on it for about 10 minutes and the pain was gone and no burn.  Try it! And don’t run your burn area under cold water first, just put it right into the flour for 10 minutes and experience a miracle!’

And just like the guy who caught on fire, if you have a little kitchen fire on the stove, dump flour on it. It is a big mess, but better than burning your house down.

If you want something else good to do with flour besides treating burns or making cookies, here is something very useful. If you are trying to ripen avacados, just bury them in a bag or canister of flour.(this is real tested advice from Sandy)

Just don’t forget them, or you will find some very moldy avacados in your flour one day.(I did this once and didn’t find the avacados till a month later after I came back from a vacation)

If for some reason, you don’t like this idea, you can ripen avacados by putting them in a brown paper bag. They will ripen faster if you put a piece of fruit in also, such as an apple.

(And if you put an apple in the bin with potatoes, they will keep fresh longer and not grow any ‘eyes’.)

Speaking of ripe avacados, if you mash one up and spread it all over your face, this makes a very good natural mask. If you squirt a little lemon juice into the avacado, it will keep it from turning brown. Leave it on for about fifteen minutes and all that vitamin E and other good nutrients will soak into your skin. This looks awful, so just go into a dark room and lie down and take a little nap.

Then rinse and Voila!

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