A paraprosdokian is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to reframe or reinterpret the first part. It is frequently used for humorous or dramatic effect, sometimes producing an anticlimax.

Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it’s still on the list.

If I agreed with you, we’d both be wrong.
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War does not determine who is right – only who is left.

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

The evening news is where they begin with ‘Good evening’, and then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.

A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.

How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire

Dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish.

Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says “If an emergency, notify: ” I put “DOCTOR”.

I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.

The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!

Hospitality: making your guests feel like they’re at home, even if you wish they were.

When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.

You’re never too old to learn something stupid.

To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

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