I have always enjoyed writing and learning about language. So when I got this in the mail from a girlfriend, I had to share it will all you readers. Enjoy!


Read all the way to the end…  This took someone a lot of work to

put together!!!

You think English is easy?1) The bandage was woundaround the wound.

2) The farm was used to produce produce .

3) The dump was so full that it had to

refuse more refuse.

4) We must polish

the Polish furniture.

5) He could lead if he

would get the lead out.

6) The soldier decided to

desert his dessert in the desert.

7) Since

there is no time like the present, he thought it was

time to present

the present .

8) A bass was painted on the

head of the bass drum.

9) When shot at, the dove

dove into the bushes.

10) I did not object to

the object.

11) The insurance was invalid for

the invalid.

12) There was a row among the

oarsmen about how to row .

13) They were too

close to the door to close it.

14) The buck

does funny things when the does are present.

15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer


16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his

sow to sow..

17) The wind was too strong

to wind the sail.

18) Upon seeing the tear in

the painting I shed a tear.

19) I had to

subject the subject to a series of tests.


How can I intimate this to my most intimate


Let’s face it – English is

a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither

apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren’t invented

in England or French

fries in France . Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren’t sweet, are meat.

We take English for

granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that

quicksand can work

slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it

a pig.

If teachers taught, why didn’t preachers praught? If a

vegetarian eats

vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

Sometimes I think all the English speakers

should be committed to

an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play

at a recital?

Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have

noses that run and feet

that smell?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the

same, while a wise man

and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a

language in

which your house can

burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which, an

alarm goes off by going


English was invented by people, not computers, and it

reflects the creativity

of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. That is why, when the

stars are out, they are

visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.

PS. – Why doesn’t ‘Buick’ rhyme with ‘quick’